if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
