He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
