Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
