Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
