Please, let me fuck your mom
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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