Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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