I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
