i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
