Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize