my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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