Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
