I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
