Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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