Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
