I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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