Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
