hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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