What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
