I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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