So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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