you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
