Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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