I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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