If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
