Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
