she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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