Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so let's talk penis.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
