I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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