My pussy is not your playground.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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