oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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