She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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