Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
