The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
