i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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