Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
