This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
