Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
