...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
