He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
