Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
