I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
