Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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