yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
