i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
