i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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