Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
