lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
