And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
