What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
