So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Two words: blizzard sex
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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