yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
